School Fights and Conflicts: Teaching Children to Deal with Bullies

Teaching your child to deal with conflict in non-violent ways is a key factor in ending bullying, which in itself is a form of violence. If your child is the victim of bullying, how do you stop the harassment without fueling the hostility? Below are five tips to help you help your child deal with school bullies.

1. BELIEVE. If your child says she is being bullied, then believe her. This will establish trust, open communication, and allow you to get more information about the problem.

2. REPORT. Be sure to alert the school about these incidents. Doing so will keep teachers on watch, rally support for your child, and protect other students who may be targeted by the same bully.

3. EMPATHIZE. According to the National Institute of Childhood Health and Human Development (NICHD), both bullies and their victims have difficulty adjusting socially and psychologically to their environment. Though it may be hard to do when your child is being bullied, realize that both kids involved are suffering.

4. THINK. What long-term lesson do you want your child to take away from this situation? Encouraging your child to respond to the bully with kicks and punches may send the message that violence is an acceptable method of problem solving.

5. TALK. Discuss the situation with teachers, school counselors, and the parents of the bully. Alert all adults involved. This will ensure that both your child and the bully get the help they need.

"People who were bullied as children," says Dr. Duane Alexander, Director of the National Institute of Childhood Health and Human Development, "are more likely to suffer from depression and low self-esteem well into adulthood, and the bullies themselves are more likely to engage in criminal behavior later in life."

Since the bully's actions may be result of other issues, it is important to handle the situation peaceably. Instead of teaching your child to fight fire with fire, use alternative methods to help resolve this conflict and promote healing.

James Guilford has worked in education for a decade. Add more depth and wow-factor to learning by downloading free lesson plans and chapters from Guilford's young-adult novel, THE PENCIL TEST, at http://www.jamesguilford.com/excerpts__lesson_plans. Reach the author at contact@jamesguilford.com.

Home School Tips Part V: How to Transition to Mainstream Schooling

Perhaps your child's intellect has outstripped your curriculum. Perhaps you have changed jobs or have taken on new responsibilities. Perhaps, you are simply ready for the next stage in your child's education. Whatever the reason for choosing to enter mainstream schooling, the transition can be harrowing.

This article is packed with suggestions for transitioning from home school to mainstream schooling. Following the tips in this article will make your child's entry into a new school smooth and stress-free.

GET CLASSY. Get a list of classes needed to enter mainstream schooling. Also, find out how you need to document that your home school curriculum meets these requirements. There may be placement tests, for which your student can prepare, that will help the school assign your child to the proper classes.

SNEAK A PEAK. Visit several schools with your student. Get permission from area schools to have your child sit in on classes. Consider enrolling your student in a summer course. Gaining familiarity in these ways will make her shift smoother.

LEARN. You and your child will have to learn the etiquette of mainstream schools. To do this, consult calendars and manuals. Note questions (for example, What is "Green Week;" or Who decides which absences are excused?). Seek answers to questions at parent events, student conferences, and school orientations. This will make you and your child feel more prepared and informed.

PREPARE. Even after you have filled out the many forms, there are bound to be other loose ends to tie up. To prepare for your child's transition to a mainstream school, call the school and get a list of the documents needed. Make a copy of all documents and bring these copies--along with identification--to orientation.

VOLUNTEER. As you look over the school calendar, note events for which you are able to assist. Participating in school events will allow you to get a feel for the school.

ASK. How rigorous are the classes? Which teachers would best suit your child's learning style? Seek answers from other families, especially those who have gone through the same transition. Aim for a mix of new and tenured families. Seeking testimonials will give you and your child a fuller perspective.

Transferring from home school to a mainstream school can be both exhilarating and harrowing. If you follow the steps listed above, then you and your child will feel more oriented and less stressed on the first day of school.

Download this entire article series in Guilford's free HOME SCHOOL E-BOOK at http://www.jamesguilford.com. In addition to this e-book, you will find chapters from Guilford's young adult novel, THE PENCIL TEST, lesson plans, and other free resources.

Home School Tips Part IV: How to Set Behavior Expectations and Manage Your "Classroom"

Giggling, tickling, whispering, and chatting--these behaviors are fine at home. But, when your kids are in school, then these behaviors are inappropriate. Because school occurs in the home, clarifying expectations without seeming contradictory can be difficult. How can you communicate rules in a way that is clear to your student?

As the fourth article in our series, this piece suggests ways of communicating expectations about behavior. In this article, you will find strategies to help you deal with discipline and classroom management in your home school.

SEPARATE. Make a clear distinction between class time and home time. Use a chime or other sound to signal the start of school. Use a timer to make breaks, snacks, and study hall exact. Also, use this instrument to signal the end of school. Making school and home time distinct will help your child transition into school-appropriate behavior.

LIST. Begin your semester by asking your student what rules are necessary to create a respectful and effective classroom. To this discussion, add your list of non-negotiable expectations. From these talks, draft a classroom charter. Now, you have an agreement--and a series of clear expectations--to which to refer.

AIM HIGH. Many classroom teachers say the following: "Start tough." "Don't smile until Christmas." "It's easier to get easier." However it is worded, holding your student to high standards is key. When she does not meet expectations, follow up with consequences. Do not waver and do not begin by cutting brakes. Doing either will undermine your authority and the integrity of your behavior policy.

BORROW A WHEEL. Don't reinvent it. Instead of creating your own discipline process from scratch, use that of other home schools and/or schools in your neighborhood.

STAY THE COURSE. Be sure to implement policies with consistency. If you say you are going to send your student to time out or cancel a trip, then do just that. Being consistent will make your student feel informed and fairly treated.

DEVELOP A CODE. Develop a code to signal that you want your student's attention. Counting backwards from five to one, ringing a bell, or turning down the lights are some tried and true methods to refocus your student.

RESPECT. In making the distinction between class time and home time, you should respect your child's leisure. Allows your student her non-school time. Resist the urge to talk about school on vacations, during television commercial, or at other non-school times.

Establishing behavior expectations for the school part of your home is a must. Otherwise, you run the risk of unruly class sessions. Use the tips above to help you outline and manage behavior and consequences in your home school.

James Guilford has worked in education for nearly a decade. Download this entire article series in Guilford's free HOME SCHOOL E-BOOK at http://www.jamesguilford.com. In addition to this e-book, you will find chapters from Guilford's young adult novel, THE PENCIL TEST, lesson plans, and other free resources.