Parent Teacher Meetings: Five Ways to More Successful Conferences

With a crumpled slip of paper titled “Conference Rooms and Times” in hand, you bustle through the double doors and cross the lobby. You sign in with reception, swig two cups of warm soda, and then power walk past the mural with the smiling moon and sun.  Round a corner, up a flight of stairs and you reach your child’s classroom.  Just outside of the door, you smooth your shirt and find a trashcan to discard you now-empty soda cup.  You enter the room, shake hands with the instructor, and take your seat in the too-small chair.  This is when you realize that you are not sure exactly why you are here.

Have you ever found yourself at a loss during a meeting with your child’s teachers?  The questions that zip through your head at the post office, in the grocery store, or during a rear-view-mirror chat with your child vanish when you are face-to-face with your child’s instructor.  The following five suggestions will help you make the best use of your next parent-teacher conference.

1. Make a list.  Depending on the practices of the school, parents may receive notices for conferences weeks or months in advance.  Then, when the date for conferences rolls around, concerns you had at the start of the year have buried themselves beneath a pile of other non-school-related issues.  To avoid such forgetfulness, keep a running list on your desktop, in your PDA, on the fridge, or in some other frequently referenced place.  In addition to concerns, be sure to include points of praise about the teacher and/or about the school.  Keeping a running list will improve the value and efficiency of conferences for you, your child, and your child’s instructor. 
2. Get the basics.  With the slue of Individualized Education Plans, Educational Action Plans, Rewards-and-Consequences Contracts, and Student Portfolios, not to mention Report Cards and Mid- and End-of-Term Narrative Progress Reports, conference times can be spent reviewing one or a number of these assessments.  Although these documents are important, reviewing each detail of a written report is not the best use of conference times.  In addition to assessment questions, be sure to get information about dates, times and materials needed for upcoming events.  Use part of your conference time to ask basic questions about the class calendar, the school calendar, and your family’s obligations (e.g. What exactly do you need to bring to the “Saturday Super Sale”?).  Getting basic information will ensure that you and your child are prepared for upcoming events. 
3. Offer assistance.  Educators face a tremendous workload.  Beyond an educator’s contracted duties lay a host of unanticipated tasks, such as locating speakers, planning fieldtrips, and setting up end-of-the year class snacks.  To help the instructor better serve your student (and, by extension, the class of students and the school community) offer assistance.  During the conference, note your area(s) of expertise.  Also, be sure to ask about ways you can assist with upcoming projects and events.
4. Keep an open mind.  Often, students come home with harrowing reports of the “mean” teacher, of being “singled out,” or of “useless” assignments.  As a concerned parent, you are justifiably alarmed by these accounts of schoolhouse savagery.  Before you enter the classroom with a glass full of accusation to be doused in the face of the instructor, take a step back and consider all of the information that may be excluded from your child’s report.  After you have taken a breath or two, jot down a list of open-ended question that will allow you to get a fuller picture of your child’s classroom experience.  Try a few of the following question in your next conference:

• “Describe a day in the life of your students?”
• “What do you consider disruptive behavior and how is it handled in the classroom?”
• “How do you communicate class expectations to students?”
• “My child has expressed concern about (“blank”).  Tell me more about this?”

5. Include your child.  Depending on the nature of the conference, consider including your child in the discussion.  A few days before the conference date, talk with your child about her classroom experience. If you have an elementary aged child, then ask her to list three things she likes about the classroom and/or the school and three things she thinks needs work.  Next, ask her how she would change these things.  For an older student, you can ask her to reflect on things that are going well and on things she would like to improve.  Because teachers may want to discuss sensitive issues, be sure to ask for permission to include your child. 

Just as there is no official handbook for raising a child, there are no official rules for engaging in parent-teacher conferences.  But if you take to heart the guidelines in this article, then you will walk into your next conference feeling better prepared, and you will walk out of this conference feeling more informed about your child’s educational experience. 

Author's Bio: James Guilford is an writer and educator.  He is the author of the young-adult novel, THE PENCIL TEST.  Visit him at http://www.JamesGuilford.com.